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Of course Iwas jealous of her. Except I wasn't. I was transgendered and theopportunity for this fact to be open and discussed passed me by quickerthan you could say malpractice. My mother, bless her open mindedness gaveme the opportunity to buy my own clothes of my choosing to wear what Iwanted when I wanted and as any typical teenager would, I instead chose totry and conform, to avoid being anything other than normal.I have regretted this decision ever since and to my shame; at times haveblamed my mum for not forcing the issue.Coward.Fast forward and my mental state and inability to deal with my conditionhave caused me to be unreasonable and confrontational. At approximatelyage21 my relationship with my parents, especially my father havedeteriorated beyond immediate conciliation. In secret, I negotiated amortgage and bought a house, moving out of their home whilst they were onholiday. It took a long time to rebuild a good relationship with the twoof them.Having moved into my own. So we were in the same department, classmates a few times. We became friends thro’ fb. And we started chatting and I found out what her interests were and stuff. I started talking about those and then I really had her attention. We started talking on the phone and all. One day while I was just flirting with her, she told me that she loved me. I hesitated but then, I told her I loved her too.And so our chats and calls became more intimate. We so badly wanted to make out, but being a college in TamilNadu, it was tough for sneaking out. But then, during one holiday, we decided to meet in the library. Since it was a holiday, most of the staff was on leave. So it was pretty much deserted. And we couldn’t stop ourselves. We went between racks of the library and she held my hand. I pulled her towards a small gap, between the racks. That was barely enough for the two of us. And so we hugged, we had to hug really tight because it was really congested. But omg, what a feeling that was. I was.
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